James Bond Licence To Quote

Quotable Doctor Who

Poker Quotations

Fred Astaire Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES

CONTACT DETAILS

Dance Quotes Books
Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing With The Stars, The Quotable Dancer, The Quotable Fred Astaire

From Ballroom to Street Dance, from Ballet to Belly Dancing, from Tap to Riverdance, from Swing and Jive to Rock and Roll, from Quickstep to Slow Dancing, from Tango to the Waltz, from the Moonwalk to the Macarena, from Breakdancing to the Soft Shoe Shuffle, from Samba to Salsa, from Paso Doble to Cha Cha Cha, from the Argentine Tango to the American Smooth.

Quotable Dancer dance quotes book
THE QUOTABLE DANCER

1300 Humorous Dance Quotes from Stage, Screen and Life in General

eBOOK DETAILS
Format: Digital eBook only
ISBN: 9781907338366
Price: £2.99 eBook

BUY Full eBook version - £2.99
Buy The Quotable Dancer e-Book on Lulu.

This eBook contains 1300 humorous dance quotes from stage & big screen, as well as an extensive A-Z of general dance topics and an all-embracing card of dance styles from Classical Ballet to Street Dance ...

"Mixing Ballet and Breakdance is like mixing apples and space-ships."
Touré in USA Today (2001) 

The book also contains the fun things said by and about famous dancers such as: Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Busby Berkeley, Martha Graham, Gene Kelly, Cyd Charisse, Bob Fosse, Nijinsky, John Travolta, Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, Michael Flatley, Savion Glover, even Mumbles the Penguin & Wall-E.

"Michael Jackson's dance moves were angular and twitchy, hinting at digital stops and starts rather than analog fluidity - except, of course, for his famous Moonwalk, the image of someone striding gracefully without ever leaving center stage."
Jon Pareles in The New York Times (2009)

With dance being a global phenomenon, this book reflects the cosmopolitan appeal of the terpsichorean art. With entries from all over the world and from down the centuries, this book still retains a firm focus on and the idealogical identity of North American dance.

"The Soft-Shoe Shuffle, the wistful Tom Sawyerish scuffing of the stage boards that says Americans experience an isolating loneliness as if by the provenance of birth."
T.E. Kalem in Time magazine (1975)

A selection of quotations from The Quotable Dancer

DANCE in GENERAL

"Stifling an urge to dance is bad for your health - it rusts your spirit and your hips."
Adabella Radici

"Dancing is beautiful and sexy, unless it's at an open-bar wedding reception."
Ross Werland in The Chicago Tribune (2009)

"Bad dancing is more fun to watch than bad singing is to listen to."
Dana Stevens on Slate.com (2005)

"Choreography is like moisture in the mouth of an orator."
David Lichine

"A lot of people insisted on a wall between Modern Dance and Ballet. I'm beginning to think that walls are very unhealthy things."
Twyla Tharp

"My love of my life is dancing, things like Tap, Modern, Ballet and Jazz. Also I love singing, even though my voice sounds awful, and watching me dance is like watching an elephant, so no-one does!"
Princess Diana, Letter to her nanny Mary Clarke (1978)

"I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I am the world's best dancer, that's for sure."
Michael Flatley

 
DANCERS

FRED ASTAIRE & RITA HAYWORTH
"Fred Astaire's two films with Rita Hayworth are more than enough to make you forget Ginger Roger's ... Hayworth packs a shimmy that would knock Ginger back to the flatlands."
Dave Kehr in The Chicago Reader

JONATHAN BURROWS & MATTEO FARGION

Speaking Dance [2006] - "Burrows & Fargion belong simultaneously in Victorian music-hall and a cognitive research science lab."
Ismene Brown in The Daily Telegraph (2006)

CYD CHARISSE
"Her persona was smoky, sinuous, and cool: a quintessential 50s mix of sex and poise. She was the choreographic equivalent of a classic Sinatra LP."
Ty Burr in The Boston Globe (2008)

SAVION GLOVER
"When I go see him, if he knows 'Im there, he'll do some of my steps. The only thing is, he'll throw it in, but he'll throw it in at, like, Mach 2."
Gregory Hines

MICHAEL HUISMAN
Margot {2009} - "Nureyev (played by Huisman) handsome as a Beatle, taut-haunched as a stag, and sailing across the stage like the first arrow in a castle siege."
Caitlin Moran in The Times (2009)

MICHAEL JACKSON
"At some point in the early 1980s, Michael Jackson realized he could Moonwalk  It's a great stunt. Jackson liked it so much, he turned it into a lifestyle."
Giles Smith in The Independent (1992)

GENE KELLY

An American In Paris (1951) - "Astounding footwork and choreography from Gene Kelly, who makes Justin Timberlake look positively arthritic by comparison."
Empire magazine (2003)

MADONNA
Vogue <1990> - "A dance-floor training manual on looking good."
Stephen Holden in The New York Times (1990)

MARIINSKY BALLET
"The Mariinsky is not just a company. It's a saga about a dynasty whose bloodline is that of Ballet itself. Think of it as a sweeping Russian epic following the fortunes of an artistic, aristocratic family that is always, always aware of its breeding."
Sanjoy Roy in The Guardian (2008)

NEW YORK CITY BALLET
"Always succinct in his suggestions, Balanchine once told a dancer, 'Reach for it like you're reaching for a Cadillac.' They just don't reach for those Cadillacs at N.Y.C.B. anymore. It's SUV City Ballet now."
Toni Bentley in The New York Review Of Books (2005)

RUDOLF NUREYEV

"Surveying choreographers, he said: 'Go and choose brain.' Like Hannibal Lecter, he sawed open the skull and feasted on the cerebrum."
Peter Conrad in The Observer (2007)

THE RADIO CITY ROCKETTES
"Nothing says Great Depression like the tap-tap-tap of dancing shoes and a long, spangled kick line."
Alessandra Stanley in The New York Times (2007)

MOIRA SHEARER
The Red Shoes (1948) - "She inspired more girls to dream of Ballerinadom than any since Pavlova ... She danced, with charm and almost infinite promise. She crossed the dance sky like a comet - never to be forgotten."
Clive Barnes in Dance magazine (2006)

JOHN TRAVOLTA
Saturday Night Fever (1977)  - "Travolta jaywalked across the disco floor with the hormonal dazzle of a porno polyester peacock."
Owen Gleiberman in Entertainment Weekly (2000)

DANCE on FILM

CENTER STAGE
(2000)
"This adolescent, awkwardly acted backstage romance wouldn't seem to call for heavy lifters, yet Susan Stroman, a two-time Tony winner, provided choreography with Christopher Wheeldon, of the N.Y. City Ballet. Why didn't they just hire Debbie Allen?"
Rita Kempley in The Washington Post (2000)

FLASHDANCE (1983)
"A seemingly impossible combination of a feminist Rocky, a bar girl Fame and Jane Fonda's Workout ... the plotting in Flashdance is as loose as the dancing."
Jay Cocks in Time magazine (1983)

SAVE THE LAST DANCE 2 (2006)
"Turns out it wasn't quite the last dance last time."
Christopher Null on FilmCritic.com (2006)

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952)
"The choreography and dancing in this film are unforgettable ... The dance numbers in this film make you want to run out and buy a pair of Tap shoes."
Cheryl Northcutt on ApolloGuide.com

DANCE on STAGE

LA CAGE AUX FOLLES
"Jerry Mitchell has picked Cagelles dancers who are also acrobats, and, sure enough, the high kicks are heaven-storming and the cartwheels could loft a helicopter."
John Simon in New York magazine (2004)

CHICAGO
"Welcome back to Chicago, where the gin's cold, the piano's hot, the dancing's even hotter ... and all that jazz."
Octavio Roca in The San Francisco Chronicle (2003)

42nd STREET
"42nd Street is the Gospel According to Tap Dance."
Skip Sheffield in The Boca Raton News (1985)

MORE DANCE QUOTATIONS

"The smile is the dance of the face, and the dance is the smile of the limbs."
F. Leslie Clendenen

"The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul."
Isadora Duncan

"Stifling an urge to dance is bad for your health - it rusts your spirit and your hips." 
Adabella Radici

"As a rule of thumb if you can walk the dog in it, it has no place on the dance stage."
Louise Levene

"Dancing is like bank robbery; it takes split second timing."
Twyla Tharp

"When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. Its to enjoy each step along the way."
Wayne Dyer

"Dancing is such a despised and dishonored trade that if you tell a lawyer you do choreography he'll look at you as if you were a hummingbird."
Agnes de Mille in Life magazine (1963)

"No, I can't explain the dance to you; if I could tell you what it meant, there would be no point in dancing it."
Isadora Duncan

"As a tadpole I always wanted to be a dancer. But you know what they say, the first thing to go on a frog are his legs."
Kermit the Frog on The Muppet Show (1976)

"You are never more alive than the first time someone puts a gun to your favorite head and asks you to dance."
Major Korgo Korgar on Andromeda: Cui Bono (2002)

"Tap dancing has just that contradictory posture: Buster Keaton from the waist up, Jim Carrey from the waist down."
Richard Corliss in Time magazine (2002)

"The Tango is a little unsubtle - in fact, if you met it at a dance class it would be stomping heavily on your feet in a pair of hobnailed boots."
Victoria Segal in The New Statesman (2007)

"It's not a dance. Even if you had no feet, you could still do the Macarena."
Michael Terrace

RICHARD GERE
Chicago (2002) - "Even lawyers can Tap-dance. Richard Gere's own Tap dancing is on the level of the Chicago Bar Associations annual revue."
Roger Ebert in The Chicago Sun-Times (2002)

PATRICK SWAYZE
Dirty Dancing (1987) - "Swayze is a watchable bundle of tempting testosterone."
Katharine Dieckmann in The Village Voice (1987)

MICHAEL FLATLEY
Lord of the Dance (1996) - "This extravaganza of Vegas Celticism has been playing to houses as packed as Michael Flatley's dancing trousers."
Matthew Sweet in The Independent (1996)


BUY Full eBook version - £2.99
Buy The Quotable Dancer e-Book on Lulu.
strictly come dancing quotes book - strictly quote dancing front cover
STRICTLY "QUOTE" DANCING
1500 Humorous Dance Quotations - Vol One
covers Strictly Come Dancing seasons 1 to 7.

BOOK DETAILS
Pages: 212
Cover: Paperback
ISBN: 9781907338021
Price: £10.49 (exc p&p) 30% off RRP £14.99


TO BUY

A COMICAL COLLECTION OF
1500 TONGUE-IN-CHEEK-TO-CHEEK
DANCE QUOTATIONS

from Strictly Come Dancing to Footloose
from Daddy Cool to Hot Gossip
from the Moulin Rouge to The Red Shoes
from Arlene Phillips to Fiona Phillips
from Stomp The Yard to the Soft-Shoe Shuffle
from Nijinsky to They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

This volume of 1500 quotations is a light-hearted and light-footed tongue-in-cheek tribute to the great names in dance: Dancers, Choreographers, Films, Stage Shows, TV Programmes … even fictional dancers, dancing animals and other lifeforms.

As its title suggests, this book pays homage to the 21st century phenomenon known as Strictly Come Dancing (or Dancing With The Stars as the rest of the dance world knows it). As well as including many names from these global TV shows, Strictly “Quote” Dancing expands the Ballroom dance world to allow Strictly… fans the chance to explore the social and celebrity dance scene outside of their TV.

Just as the Strictly… mantle has covered the globe like a Paso Doble cape, this book matches the international reach of social dance with a particular focus on the U.K. and U.S.A. Strictly “Quote” Dancing celebrates in comic fashion the whole glitterball of glamour, glitz and gaucheness that has always pervaded the social dance world.

"Strictly... is the show that has it all: tears, adultery, screaming, serious injury ... No wonder so many EastEnders actors feel so at home there."
Katy Guest in The Independent on Sunday (2007)

Inspired by STRICTLY COME DANCING, this book delivers enough comical content to fill the most discerning judge's dance card.

"People love to follow celebrities and watch them being humiliated. In the past we had the stocks; now we have Strictly..."
Craig Revel Horwood in The Daily Mail (2008)
 
This light-footed volume of 1500 light-hearted quotes covers every angle of the dance world from the Len GOODman, the LamBADa and the JitterbUGLY.

As the title suggests - this fun-packed book focuses on the first 7 seasons of Strictly Come Dancing ...

On why he agreed to take part in 'Strictly...' - "It was the prospect of dancing with a woman for a change."
Julian Clary (2004)

It reveals an amusing aspect of the show through the words of celebrity and professional dancers, judges, hosts, fans and the media.

"When Strictly... first quick-stepped onto our screens, it was as fresh and innocent as a newly-sewn sequin on a novice's ballgown."
Amanda Platell in The Daily Mail (2009)

"Strictly... is a proper, serious, intelligent sport. Unlike football, which is just some petty form of light entertainment."
Viv Groskop in The Mail on Sunday (2009)

"That's pro-celebrity Ballroom for you. It damn near strips a man naked, bar the sequins."
Giles Smith in The Times (2006)

"When it comes to the Strictly... debate, I'm on John Sergeant's side. We who Salsa like reversing dump-trucks have to stick together."
Rowan Pelling in The Daily Telegraph (2008)

As well as SCD other TV dance shows (from Come Dancing to So You Think You Can Dance) are also covered...

"These days you can't swing a sequined dress without hitting a dance reality TV show."
Emily Macel in Dance magazine (2008)

"It goes without saying SYTYCD should have been called So You Think You Can Be Any More Like X Factor And Britain's Got Talent If You Try?"
Ian Hyland in The News of the World (2010)

This book includes comical content about famous dancers ...

"Patrick Swayze is a watchable bundle of tempting testosterone."
Katharine Dieckmann in The Village Voice (1987)

"In Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta jay-walked across the disco floor with the hormonal dazzle of a porno polyester peacock."
Owen Gleiberman in Entertainment Weekly (2000)

As such, Strictly 'Quote' Dancing celebrates in frivolous fashion the gaudy global glitterball of glamour, glitz and garish gaucheness that has always pervaded the dance world.

As a taster of what Strictly 'Quote' Dancing holds in store, here is a sample of quotations ...

"Dancing is beautiful and sexy, unless it's at an open-bar wedding reception."
Ross Werland 

"Theoretically, I am ready to go to anything - once. If it moves, I'm interested; if it moves to music, I'm in love."
Arlene Croce in The New Yorker (2000)

"There will be a rain dance Friday night ... weather permitting."
George Carlin

"You know what they say about revenge: Best taken in a frilly frock."
Anton Du Beke

"If ballroom dancing is the new sex, then Anton Du Beke is its Dr. Alex Comfort. He pulls on the waistband of his trousers and wiggles it around. His sorrowful eyes are as big and glistening as Medjool dates ... he is a cross between a camp Svengali and a merciless chiropractor."
Elizabeth Grice in The Daily Telegraph (2004)

DANCING WITH THE STARS USA - "George Hamilton is 66. It doesn't matter. He's in his element, shimmying across the floor with the grace of a man half his age hoping against hope that the knee cartilage holds out."
Duncan Kennedy on BBC.co.uk (2006)

Dance movies ...

PULP FICTION (1994) - "Travolta in a Twist contest with Uma Thurman during the legendary scene at Jack Rabbit Slims; so cool, they reach all the way round the thermometer and wind up at 'hot' again."
Richard Ouzounian in The Toronto Star (2007)

BILLY ELLIOT
"When Billy asks his mate, 'Who do you think is better, Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers?' you know you're in for a sticky-sweet ride aboard the treacle train."
Mark Savlov in The Austin Chronicle (2000)

COYOTE UGLY
"The movie's 'Odessa Steps' is a stompin', Charlie Daniels'-scored Riverdance that could drive a dog to suicide."                        
Michael Atkinson in The Village Voice (2000)

DADDY COOL
"Song-and-dance numbers in which the girls splay, split and kick their legs like Swiss Army knives with all the blades going at once and the men clutch their privates."
Rhoda Koenig in The Independent (2006)

DANCE FLICK
"Back in the day, they probably would have called it You Got To Step Up 2 Be Served Hairspray And Stomp The Yard To Save The Last High School Musical."
Michael Rechtshaffen in Film Journal International  (2009)

Stage musicals ...

LORD OF THE DANCE [1996] - "This extravaganza of Vegas Celticism has been playing to houses as packed as Michael Flatley's dancing trousers."
Matthew Sweet in The Independent (1996)

DIRTY DANCING
"Dance is sex here; it makes losing your virginity as easy as doing the Cha-Cha-Cha."
Lyn Gardner in The Guardian (2006)

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
"This is an ensemble piece which is at times so cleverly and frenetically choreographed that it resembles a human Red Arrows display."
Dawn Collinson in The Liverpool Echo (2006)





THE QUOTABLE FRED ASTAIRE

DANCING on ASTAIRE
2000 Biographical Quotations about the world's favourite dancer.

Click here for more details of the Fred Astaire quotes book






"I don't remember anybody ever pointing me out as a dancing prodigy, but I played a not bad second base."
Fred Astaire (c 1936)

"Youth is believing that someday you'll dance like Fred Astaire."
Jacqueline Friedrich

"Give Mr. Astaire a hunk of rhythm, a straw boater and a girl, and he's your man."
Bosley Crowther in The New York Times (1950)

"Fred Astaire bursts into a dance which in its speed and unselfconsciousness seems equally to break the laws of nature."
Graham Greene in The Spectator (1936)

"He was the Duke of Windsor of music: glorious, subtle, aloof, elegant."
Joel Grey

"Fred Astaire is the saint of 1930s sophistication, the butterfly in motion."
David Thomson, Biographical Dictionary of Film (2002)

"The thirties musicals of Astaire worked as spontaneous eruptions of energy, as Astaire's body almost seemed to liquefy as walk became dance and speech became the lilting cadence of song."
Saige Walton in Contemporary Comic Book Superhero (2009)


A Fitting Tribute to Fred Astaire's Memory
by Sam Browning

"An amazing collection of quotations on the one and only Fred Astaire. The title says it all 'Dancing on Astaire' as in the whole dance world, or so it seems, has their say on Mr Astaire. Not surprisingly given Fred's legend and standing - in Hollywood, Broadway and the West End - 99.9% of the biographical quotes about him are positive and deeply respectful of his talent, his demeanor and his unmatched class.
The quality of the quotations collected here is highly impressive and the scope of the book is almost as jaw-dropping as one of Fred's dance routines - there is even a section on the infamous Dirt Devil adverts.
All in all a wonderful book full of great memories about a great dancer and a great man."
from the Barnes and Noble Dancing On Astaire  web page
(for the US edition of The Quotable Fred Astaire)


dancing with the stars quotes book - dancing with the quotes front coverDANCING WITH THE "QUOTES"
1000 Humorous US TV Dance Quotations

BOOK DETAILS
Pages: 140           
Cover: Paperback
Size: 6" x 9"         
ISBN: 9781907338038
Price: Please check sales sites below for latest prices
 

 
TO BUY
AMAZON UK                       AMAZON USA

A Comical Collection of Humorous Quotations
on TV Dance Shows …
from DANCING WITH THE STARS to SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

"DWTS ... a contest that is as much about redemption as it is about the Rumba."
Alessandra Stanley in The New York Times (2007)

"Doing a show like Dancing With The Stars is pretty much the most famous you can get as a dancer unless you're Baryshnikov or something."
Julianne Hough (2008)

INTRODUCTION TO
DANCING WITH THE QUOTES

As the title suggests, this fun-packed book focuses on the first nine seasons of Dancing With The Stars. Inspired by the hit US TV show, this book delivers enough comical content to fill the most discerning judge's dance card.

On Clyde Drexler's Rumba - "Oh my God. Clyde, I know you’re a gentleman … But this was so polite - it was like a Rumba under an anesthetic."
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars (2007)

It reveals an amusing aspect of the show through the words of celebrity and professional dancers, judges, hosts, fans and the media.

"I didn't know there would be this much dancing!"
Penn Jillette on
Dancing With The Stars (2008)

"DWTS is a shimmery, glittery, fraught-with-injuries 10-week competition between dance pairs - one pro and one celebrity - joined in a televised matrimony of sorts."
April MacIntyre on MonstersAndCritics.com (2009)

By is very nature of focusing on TV dance shows in the 20th century, the majority of the quotations contained in this book come from the last ten years. This ultra-contemporary content, in terms of dance history, makes this book as fresh and as vibrant as the latest street dance craze.

As well DWTS, this book also features quotations about other U.S. dance shows from American Bandstand to So You Think You Can Dance ...

"The Pony, the Jitterbug, the Twist, the Chalypso (a Cha-Cha, Calypso combination) - they danced them all at Bandstand. They even - gasp! - slow-danced."
The Hollywood Reporter (2002)

"The super-progressive SYTYCD makes DWTS look like a trip to the retirement home."
Kyle Anderson on MTV.com (2009)

Just as the DWTS mantle has covered the globe like a peripatetic Paso cape, this book matches the international reach of dance on TV. DANCING WITH THE QUOTES also includes content from TV series around the world. These include DWTS' quick-step-mother - Strictly Come Dancing from the U.K. and DWTS spin-offs from Australia and New Zealand.

On Ian Meldrum's Cha-Cha-Cha - "Not many Cha-Chas died in the making of that Cha-Cha routine."
Todd McKenney on 
Dancing With The Stars AUS (2006)

Although these international names may not be as familiar to U.S. readers as their 'homegrown' stars; like dance itself - the humor of the quotes and quips transcends all borders.

"That's pro-celebrity Ballroom for you. It damn near strips a man naked, bar the sequins."
Giles Smith in The Times (2006)

As such, DANCING WITH THE QUOTES celebrates in frivolous fashion the global glitterball of glamour, glitz and garish gaucheness that has always pervaded the TV dance world.

"Welcome to the world of teeth and tans. We certainly embrace the retro camp quality. Where else can you Vienna Waltz to a Sonny and Cher song?"
Tom Bergeron on
Dancing With The Stars (2005)

The diverse and sometimes obscure content entertainingly covers everything from the Len GOODman, the LamBADa and the JitterbUGLY.

On Bill Ray Cyrus' Waltz - "The trouble was there was only one recognizable step: the Shadow Botafogos ... and that's a Samba step!"
Len Goodman on
Dancing With The Stars (2007)  

On Mya and Dmitry Chaplin's Lambada - "Though last week's rumba was a little busy for my taste, their lambada was just right: hot and spicy with a side of raunch dressing."
Allyssa Lee in The Los Angeles Times (2009)

On Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson's railroad-inspired Jitterbug - "A little like looking at a steam train trying to keep up with a speeding bullet train."
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars (2009)


DANCING WITH THE STARS
Selected Quotes from Series 9 (2009)
Taken from Dancing With The Quotes, - the following are some of our favorite fun quotes from the last Series of Dancing With The Stars ... with a quote about each of the 16 celebrities.

"DWTS announced the pairings for its upcoming season - some out there are no doubt crunching the odds of Debi Mazar and that Russian guy squaring off with Chuck Liddell and ... that Russian chick in the finals."
Peter Vonder Haar in The Houston Press (2009)

"Note to producers: How about getting real dancers going against real dancers? Here's where Paula Abdul could shine. Stick her against Ben Vereen, Savion Glover, Chita Rivera and Debbie Allen and we might just have a show."
Bruce Miller in The Sioux City Journal (2009)

"One of the better dancers [Natalie Coughlin] was unceremoniously booted from DWTS, to the point where - no kidding - one of the judges [Len Goodman] pleaded with viewers to remember that as much as they love an underdog, they should be thinking more about justice. Dancing justice! Sparkly, spray-tanned, dancing justice!"
Linda Holmes on NPR.org (2009)

SERIES 9 FEMALE CLEBRITIES

NATALIE COUGHLIN
Partnered by ALEC MAZO
On her Paso Doble - "Natalie got busted by the Lift Police, aka Carrie Ann, and slid badly, at least in comparison to her rising competitors. Is this the equivalent of swimming into the wall?"
Lorilee Craker in The Grand Rapids Press (2009)

MACY GRAY
Partnered by JONATHAN ROBERTS
"Macy, who's clunky and weird ... She moves a little like a tank controlled by a drunk driver."
Daniel Carlson in The Houston Press (2009)

MELISSA JOAN HART
Partnered by MARK BALLAS
On her Viennese Waltz - "Melissa is too tense to pull off the delicateness of the dance at times. She’s floating one second and looks like she borrowed Debi Mazar’s legs the next."
Joyce Eng in TV Guide (2009)

KATHY IRELAND
Partnered by TONY DOVOLANI
On her Quickstep - "Tony looks as if he's leading his tall, fragile aunt around the floor - and Kathy really is too hot to be giving off that vibe."
Natalie Finn on EOline.com  (2009)

JOANNA KRUPA
Partnered by DEREK HOUGH
On the Marathon Mambo dance off -  "No way Joanna wins over Mya. She's just not working it as well and ... really?!? They're giving it to Joanna??? It's a travesty, a sham, and a mockery. It's a travashamockery."
Tamara Brooks on Blog.Zap2it.com (2009)

DEBI MAZAR
Partnered by MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY
On her Salsa - "On the good side you can work those bazooms like nobody else and I got a lot of value out of that."
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars (2009)

MYA
Partnered by DMITRY CHAPLIN
On her Salsa - "She got another perfect 30 ... her solo was slamming. If she doesn't win DWTS, she should go on So You Think You Can Dance and kick some arse over there."
Gina Carbone on SeaCoastOnline.com (2009) 

KELLY OSBOURNE
Partnered by LOUIS van AMSTEL
"Kelly has grown during this season and I'm amazed at the poise that young lady now has. It seems like only yesterday that she had pink hair!"
Linda M on TVGrapevine.com (2009)

SERIES 9 MALE CELEBRITIES

AARON CARTER
Partnered by KARINA SMIRNOFF
On his Quickstep - "Bruno calls it 'Spectacular Spectacular!' and calls Aaron 'a mini-Fred Astaire.' That's gross. Really? Aaron Carter was just compared to Fred Astaire."
Kim Wetter on Buddy.tv (2009)

MARK DACASCOS
Partnered by LACEY SCHWIMMER
On his Samba - "It was a little bit like watching Kung Fu Panda does the samba in the Planet Of The Apes."
Bruno Tonioli on Dancing With The Stars (2009)

TOM DeLAY
Partnered by CHERYL BURKE
"Watching former Republican Speaker of the House Tom DeLay disgrace himself and the United States Congress over the years, I distinctly remember thinking, 'Sure, this dirt bag is ethically challenged, but can he dance?' So what songs would you add for this Happy Hoofer? As George Michael taught us, 'Guilty feet have no rhythm.' " 
David Wild on HuffingtonPost.com (2009)

ASHLEY HAMILTON
Partnered by EDYTA SLIWINSKA
On his Foxtrot - "They are decent, but there are definitely stretches where they have pro-dances-literal-circles-around-partner syndrome. (I think we need a pithier name for that because it's definitely going to come up again. We'll call it PDLCAPS for now.)"
Sarah Kelber in The Baltimore Sun (2009)

MICHAEL IRVIN
Partnered by ANNA DEMIDOVA
On his Quickstep - "It's refreshing that the huge jock doesn't have 'Weeks 1-5 Masculinity Issues Syndrome' this season."
Annie Barrett in Entertainment Weekly (2009)

CHUCK LIDDELL
Partnered by ANNA TREBUNSKAYA
"Almost certainly the scariest person to ever dance on DWTS."
Verne Gray in Newsday (2009)

DONNY OSMOND
Partnered by KYM JOHNSON
On his Jive - "Kym's worried about the jive since Donny's the second oldest in the competition, but Kym, there's nothing a ham can't do - in a suede purple suit."
Joyce Eng in TV Guide (2009)

LOUIE VITO
Partnered by CHELSIE HIGHTOWER
"Apparently, our boy is getting criticized for, basically, not moving well enough. 'You're still stepping ... you have to dance!' remarked judge Bruno Tonioli. Come on, Bruno! Have you seen how this boy dances on the slopes?! It's enough to make Baryshnikov weep!"
Glenn Steinbaum on TheSkiChannel.com (2009)

DWTS PROFESSIONAL DANCERS
"DWTS is a cakewalk for the pros, or it would be if they didn't have to train rookies. You almost feel bad for them, and have to wonder if the pro dancing circuit refers to the show as Dancing With The Idiots."
Daniel Carlson in The Houston Press (2009)

LOUIS VAN AMSTEL
"I can hardly believe that Kelly Osbourne seems more intense about DWTS than her partner Louis Van Intensity."
Annie Barrett in Entertainment Weekly (2009)

CHERYL BURKE
"62-year-old Tom Delay is partnered with Cheryl Burke, who has a painful, beauty-pageant runner-up smile plastered on her face, like she just can't figure out what she did to deserve this."
Sarah Kelber in The Baltimore Sun (2009)

DMITRY CHAPLIN
"Mya and Dmitry were both pretty in pink as they danced a '70s-style samba  - which basically meant that they moved at hustle speed and Dmitry wore a mustache."
Natalie Finn on EOline.com (2009)

MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY
"He's very funny, he's very sweet, and he's very patient. He's got a great sense of humor. And I can't stop looking at that butt!"
Debi Mazar (2009)


Comments